With the opiate epidemic rapidly hijacking the lives of our twenty something year olds and parents and families seeking for strategies or solutions to help guide the next generation of youth, these are prevention strategies for all adults involved in the lives of our children, teens, and young adults. Whether a parent or guardian or another family member, teacher, or coach. We are all responsible to shape the lives of our youth.
Teaching our youth to value their lives. This could be about teaching how fragile the body and brain is and the lengths we have to go to take care of ourselves. This could be about the permanence of death and reminding that we are not invincible. They will continue to believe they are invincible, but showing them ways they are not will give them a different perspective to reflect back on. Talking about anxiety and fears. Listening to the situations that make them feel anxious, uncomfortable, or shy, and validating those feelings. They are experiencing everything for the first time and what may seem silly to us, could be the biggest thing in the world to them. Talking out loud about our own fears and anxieties and showing them that even as adults we face them. Then showing alternative ways to handle them without having a drink or taking a pill. Remember they watch everything adults do, so role model behavior that we want instilled in them. Increasing their self-esteem and confidence. Reflecting on things they do well, thanking them for helping out around the house or going above and beyond for someone else, reminding them of their strengths, encouraging them to state their own strengths, challenging them to do things that are scary or new, or encouraging mastery at a particular skill. This can also include teaching them to talk to adults with direct eye contact, having them ask for things directly without doing it on their behalf, and not apologizing for them or any bad behavior. Lastly, speaking to them as a person first and separating their actions from their character. We are not defined by the decisions we make. Autonomy and independence. Letting them make more decisions on their own even if we disagree. Openly talking about the outcome of those decisions whether or not it was a positive or negative outcome. There will be social consequences they have to experience on their own to learn from their decision making. Saying no or what not to do, does not teach them the skill to learn for themselves. Passion driven activities, goals, and values. Encouraging our youth to be involved in various activities including sports, art, music, and volunteer work gives them purpose. Helping them to find something to become passionate about or to work towards keeps them driven. This way if any person or substance is interfering with their goals, they have a better chance of seeing how their goal is being jeopardized. Too much down time keeps us complacent. Meanwhile, paying attention to their competitiveness, how they cope with losses, and the level of expectations they place on themselves to succeed could be a strength or a risk factor. Open communication about how they handle life on life’s terms is important. Boundaries and effective communication. Setting consistent boundaries with realistic consequences. It is not the severity of the consequences, it’s the immediacy and ability to follow through with it. Holding them accountable until they are able to hold themselves accountable. This does not mean being strict, it mean enforcing the boundaries that are set which are two different things. Also, discussing poor decision making is much more effective instead of immediately punishing. Finding out what is driving the decisions and what they need to make better decisions will go a long way with building character. Refusal skills and extraditing from risky situations. Teaching them skills to feel comfortable to say no with confidence. Understanding the social pressures and wanting to fit in and teaching them other ways to fit in besides drinking, smoking, using drugs or engaging in sexual activity. Talking with them about these things at an early age so they feel comfortable talking to any adult about a decision that might be risky. Teaching them to think through their decisions before acting on them. Finding alternative ways to remove themselves from situations without embarrassment. Avoid minimizing or justifying. There is a misconception among many adults that because we drank or experimented with drugs when we were young, we are hypocrites if we tell our children not to. This thinking promotes minimizing and justifying on our part. We learn from our life experiences and share those experiences with others. The adult brain is not fully developed until 25 years old, so anything that teens or young adults learn from others has to be repeated and consistently enforced. If they are caught drinking, smoking marijuana, or using any drugs at our homes, in our cars, or at school there has to be some consequences so they do not learn to minimize or justify the use. The consequence has to be immediate and every time so they associate the use with something negative. While it may be a less harmful substance, the thought process carries over when they use other drugs. They see their friends they trust sniffing cocaine or taking a Percocet to get high with no consequences and they want to experience the same positive effect. They will minimize and justify it because they trust their friend or it’s a manufactured pill, but there will always be “a because” if we do not interrupt the thought process. Taking action when there are concerns. If substance use is suspected in the home, we should not be tiptoeing around hoping the concern will go away. If we suspect something, we should take action by searching through the child’s room or car even if they are over 18 years old. They do not own the home and privacy is earned. So if they are going to use substances and risk their lives and the lives of their family members, then they lost the privilege to privacy. Meanwhile, do not assume because children were raised well, are smart, or educated that they will always make the right decisions. If we intervene at the right time we might be able to influence their thought process before the drugs hijack their brain. Remember that all children value the approval and acceptance of their role models. If the drug use has progressed to addiction and they need formal treatment and recovery support, we will also take any necessary actions to connect them with services. It is never a bad idea at any point to take a teen or young adult to an open 12 step meeting so they can hear the stories of others who started using at the age they are now. We can maintain our love and support for our child during their struggle, but we can’t overcome this for them. It is also encouraged to explore al-anon, nar-anon, or families anonymous for ourselves. Meanwhile, as our child learns and grows, we have to learn and grow independently to improve our boundaries and communication with them moving forward. Reminding them of our unconditional love and support is essential to motivating them make any necessary changes to improve their lives.
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Authorfinding greatness in the unimaginable.empowering others.addiction advocate.living simply, contently, passionately. Archives
April 2016
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